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Jeff Probst Missed Connection

Jeff Probst

Future Jeff Probst excitedly pointing at the Emmys after casting Ryan Muldowney in an upcoming season of Survivor leads to monster ratings and critical acclaim.

I recently passed by Jeff Probst as he enjoyed lunch with a friend on Ventura Blvd.  Since I didn’t have the guts to say hello, I dealt with the situation the next best way:  By posting a missed connection on Craigslist.  Since ads only stay listed on the website for a week, I’ve posted it below for posterity.

As of now, Jeff Probst has not responded.

Jeff Probst – m4m – 30 (Ventura Blvd.)

This afternoon, on my lunch hour, I walked past Jeff Probst on Ventura Blvd. He was enjoying lunch with a friend. I was walking off a turkey club and onion rings.As someone who’s seen every episode of Survivor for the last 14 years and has dreamed of being on the show since the age of 16, it was an exciting event.I wanted to stop and talk to him. Tell him about my superfandom. That there’s a box at my mother’s house stuffed with dozens of VHS tapes filled with Survivor episodes (and the exit interviews from the CBS early show. Jane Clayson was hot back then, huh?). That my high school classmates chastised me for wearing a Survivor t-shirt to school. That I wrote Survivor fan fiction as a teenager. That this behavior was probably a major factor in me not dating until college.I wanted to tell him about how I’m a less awkward John Cochran with 6 more inches in height and 80 more pounds of weight, with wit like Tyson Apostal and the gamesmanship of Boston Rob.If only I stopped and said hi, perhaps he would have immediately realized that he had Survivor’s next star standing next to him. Or maybe he would’ve been weirded out and called the cops. Judgment call.

Since I have a high moral code, and rule #14 of said moral code is “Never disturb a man while he’s eating lunch,” I turned away and continued my walk back to the office, wondering what might’ve been if I had only stopped and said hi.

I hope you enjoyed your healthy lunch choice. Me? I’m regretting two things: our missed connection, and eating the onion rings. They were too greasy.

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MuldoCast w/ Jeff Wild from “Chelsea Lately”

Jeff Wild on "Chelsea Lately"

The MuldoCast returns from its summer hiatus with Jeff Wild from “Chelsea Lately.”  Tune in to hear how Jeff endeared himself to Chelsea Handler , sexual relations with the elderly, the weird things people say on Twitter, and much, much more.

Listen Here:

[podcast]http://muldo.net/MuldoCast/10-04-10-Jeff-Wild.mp3[/podcast]

You can check out Jeff’s music here, and follow him on Twitter @JiffyWild.

Do a kindness and tell a friend about the MuldoCast.  Don’t be left behind while everyone else is Mul-Doin’ it!  Also, be sure to subscribe to MuldoCast on itunes so you can listen at your leisure.

The Time I Met “Survivor” winner Parvati Shallow

With Parvati Shallow being a finalist for the “Heroes vs. Villains” season, it reminds me of the time we met in the Winter of 2009.

I was volunteering at a gifting suite in Century City, and she came on the scene.  We were introduced to each other by our mutual friend, Mikey.  After exchanging pleasantries, Mikey told her how close I was to being a finalist on the “Survivor” season Parvati won, “Fans vs. Favorites.” She asked who’s spot I likely would have taken.  I guessed Erik, the guy who made one of the dumbest moves in “Survivor” history by giving up immunity and promptly being voted out, in no small part to Parvati’s game play.

“You would have probably joined up with us and made it far,” she said.

“I would have made it farther than him, because I would have never fell for your crap,” I said.

We had a laugh over my comment and chatted for a minute more before parting ways.  She was very charming and pretty hot.

It’s disappointing that things didn’t go her way this season, since she was the best player.  My hat goes off to her.  All snarky comments aside, she likely would have kicked my ass in the game.

Oprah and John Tesh: What Could Have Been

With word coming from the reliable biographer Kitty Kelly that John Tesh and Oprah dated in the 70’s, I only feel sadness for what could have been.  America’s most powerful woman and most talented new age musician could have made for an unbreakable alliance.

Between talk shows, radio shows, concert tours, television networks, movies, and theme song compositions, they would have been a major influence on at least 75% of media.  Eat your heart out, Rupert Murdoch and Comcast.  Unfortunately, it was not to be, though each have carved out a niche for themselves.

It also confirms what I’ve been thinking, but afraid to say for 20 years:  “Roundball Rock” was not really about basketball,  but about their relationship.  Take a listen and tell me otherwise.

Without a doubt, that message on his answering machine was actually a drunk dial to his former flame that was an attempt to win back her heart.  Also, the sadness in his eyes is apparent at 1:23 when he runs around the stage to his piano and begins playing the song.

Judging by the upbeat tempo of the song, Oprah must have been a real pistol in the sack.

Just the Ten of Us in My Dreams

I had a strange dream last night that involved Bill Kirchenbauer, better known as the dad from short lived ABC sitcom “Just the Ten of Us.”

I passed him on the street and gave him a sideways glance, excited about seeing him, but wanting to be discrete.  He noticed me and yelled, saying that he was the guy from “Just the Ten of Us” and that he didn’t appreciate me looking at him because he wanted his privacy.

The dream didn’t last long, and I woke up annoyed at this man that I’ve never met.  My anger soon turned to sadness when I googled the show and found out it was canceled after two seasons.  Not because of bad ratings, but due to network politics.

Instead of anger, I’m taking a moment to thank Bill, as well as the entire cast of “Just the Ten of Us,” for two laugh filled seasons and dozens of memories.

As a tribute to the show and everything that Bill Kirchenbauer stands for, I’ve posted its opening theme song.

The next time you’re down on yourself and you think that life couldn’t get any more bleak, repeat the following:  Life is a race and I know I can win it, cause I’m learning the rules of the game.  If I can stay on the ball, take it minute by minute, I just might make the hall of fame.

I do this, and I am highly successful.  It’s no coincidence.

Jesus Comedy on Good Friday

In celebration of Good Friday, I present to you a rediscovered clip from back in 2004.  It features Jesus performing hilarious stand up for a Comedy Special for sale on DVD.  Watch the video below and be crucified with LAUGHS!  If this doesn’t give you a Good Friday, I don’t know what will!

It was originally taped for an episode of “Gettin’ Later.”  Although the acting could’ve been better, the skit hits its mark and gave me a few chuckles when I watched it today for the first time in years.

A Legendary Sports Commercial

Here’s a fun video from way back in 1981.  I can only imagine that it took many, many hours to tape with all those costume changes.  It stands the test of time and is just as awesome now as it was 29 years ago.

I had the pleasure of meeting John Steigerwald once.  I was 12-years-old and the Steelers had just earned a trip to Super Bowl XXX.  I ran into him at Woodson’s All Star Grille on the southside of Pittsburgh.  We bumped into each other, and he was very nice.  We chatted briefly as I towered over him.  He’s probably 5’5” at the most.  Not to make fun of his height, but it was exciting to discover I was taller than someone I watched on TV.

It was an exciting time and I managed to sneak into the background of an interview he did with Rod Woodson.  It was the first photobombing of my life, and it made it to the 11 p.m. newscast.  One of the most thrilling moments of my life.  For that opportunity, and this video, thank you, Mr. John Steigerwald.