The MuldoCast is back and better than ever with guest Mary Patterson Broome. Tune in as we discuss Red Lobster, children with hyphenated last names, seducing radio mainstays “Bob and Tom,” and Mary Patterson’s thoughts on dating a fellow comedian.
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The MuldoCast will be back in full force next week, but in the mean time, here’s the new theme song. It will give you a taste of the terrificness that is the MuldoCast, and the excellence that is to come in the future. Thanks to everyone for listening!
I was volunteering at a gifting suite in Century City, and she came on the scene. We were introduced to each other by our mutual friend, Mikey. After exchanging pleasantries, Mikey told her how close I was to being a finalist on the “Survivor” season Parvati won, “Fans vs. Favorites.” She asked who’s spot I likely would have taken. I guessed Erik, the guy who made one of the dumbest moves in “Survivor” history by giving up immunity and promptly being voted out, in no small part to Parvati’s game play.
“You would have probably joined up with us and made it far,” she said.
“I would have made it farther than him, because I would have never fell for your crap,” I said.
We had a laugh over my comment and chatted for a minute more before parting ways. She was very charming and pretty hot.
It’s disappointing that things didn’t go her way this season, since she was the best player. My hat goes off to her. All snarky comments aside, she likely would have kicked my ass in the game.
I was at a Mexican restaurant in Sylmar after a round of disc golf a couple weeks ago and came upon the greatest hairstyle in the history of mankind. Or humankind if you’d like me to be more politically correct. Though I always hate when people say humankind since the traditional meaning of “mankind” factors in both sexes, so saying humankind is just a bunch of bullshit.
Anyways, the woman was face to face with me, and the true scope of her wondrous hair was not realized until she turned sideways to feed her child. Upon doing so, this is what I witnessed:
Turned sideways, her giant, wave-breaking-on-the-shore curl was exposed. Many thoughts ran through my head concerning how she got her hair to curl that way. Beer can? Tree stump? Her husband’s girthy genitalia?
I hope for it being the result of hair-banging her better-half, but my practical side says she did it with an empty Coors Light. Either way, I’ll appreciate this woman’s avant-garde approach to hairstyle innovations and think of her the next time I body surf.
One of my high school senior pictures was posted on a list of Ridiculous Senior Photos on the Holy Taco Blog. While mine s one of the tamest of the bunch, it’s an honor to be nominated with a great group of horrendous pictures.
Since the picture to the right was such a hit with the internet community at large, I’ve posted more senior photos for your enjoyment.
These photos were taken in the Fall of 2000 by New England Photography in Elizabeth, Pennsylvania. They’re nice people and do good work, even if some of the poses and scenery are a bit over the top.
A while back I did a rendition of the Bone Thugs N Harmony classic “Crossroads” and posted it on youtube. I received death threats, ridicule, scorn, and lots of comments remarking on how “white” I am.
Looking back, I should have realized the group had a fervent fan base. My earliest Bone Thugs memory is from back in grade school, when a girl in my shop class chose to carve in “Bone Thugs E. 1999 Eternal” into the box she built for a project. Most of us chose our initials, but she went with the current Bone Thugs album. That’s a true fan.
Here are some of my favorite comments, taken verbatim:
“if i was bone thugz i would try 2 find u and whip yo ass”
“i’m from cleveland and i find this very fucked up”
“weak ass anal lovin cock sucking fat fag sweaty shit licker…. ur fucked up… u suck 4 one and 4 2.. dats sad u cant even complete da damn song and 4 3 thats da best song ever how u gonna fuck it up……. die !!!!”
“stupid white boy im tired of your shit bitch”
“this guy fucking sucks dick and pisses me off”
“this folks is what bone thugs would look like if they sang sober..”
“nigga funny, reminds me of napoleon dynamite”
“i feel like finding you and raping you in front of your mother”
“this is why the majority of white people dont rap.”
There are also many comments understanding the intent of the video, but clearly, I should never mess with a Bone Thugs N Harmony song again unless I want to die a very slow and painful death.