Archive | October 2005

Lessons Learned

The past few days have been interesting. Several life lessons have been learned, and I’ll take them with me wherever I go in life.

My second day of work at Best Buy was today. Thanks to both poor planning on my part, and slow drivers that would not change lanes, I was 5 minutes late for work. Never a good thing, especially at the beginning of a new job. I thought I would just be able to apologize for it and have them say “Just don’t make a habit of it.”

A manager there decided to take it to another level.

He introduced himself with an overly-firm handshake in an attempt at what seemed to me as intimidation.

“Where have you worked before this?” he asked.

Thinking he was simply making conversation, I told him some of my previous jobs.

“What would they say if you showed up 5 minutes late on your second day of work?”

Ambushed, I said they probably would be mad, which isn’t really true, since I’ve been late many times before in previous jobs with nothing said.

He then chuckled and said he was just joking with me, that he’s a joker, and that he understands that things happen sometimes. Funny.

Lesson #1 (Common sense): Don’t show up late on your second day of work, even if it’s a meaningless retail job.

Lesson #2: Passive-agressiveness is never a good way to make an impression on anyone.

My new job has given me something other than a small paycheck. It’s given me even more motivation to find a professional job, as if being an unemployed graduate wasn’t enough. I want to work this job for the shortest possible time. I agressively searched for jobs today as soon as I set foot in my house. I don’t belong at this place. The people I’ve worked with so far are nice, but I need to move on as soon as possile.

Lesson #3: Be as agressive as possible when searching for jobs after college.

Lesson #4: Never piss off a member of a lesbian biker gang. You will be castrated and made to watch as your balls are used as dice in a game of craps.


I’m Old.

I’m getting old, and here’s several reasons why.

I’ll be 30 in 8 years.
I replaced the hip hop station on my radio presets with the adult contemporary station.
I stopped keeping up with current hits in 2002.
I enjoy music my grandparents listened to, like Bing Crosby and Dean Martin.
I listen to Christmas music – In October.
I yell at kids who don’t know what “good music” is.
I watch “Days Of Our Lives.”
I drive the speed limit.
I have laugh lines on my face.
I’ve yanked nostril hair that’s two inches long.
I can’t piss under my grandmother’s porch and get away with it.
Taking a shit in public would get me arrested.
Having sex with a 17-year-old means jail time.
Thinking a 15-year-old is hot means I’m creepy.
Having sex with one means I’m a pedophile.
Professional athletes are younger than me.
Sitcoms are about people my age.
Up-and-coming celebrities are younger than me.
I’ve been hit on by middle-aged women.
I’ve had conversations with people who don’t know what 90210 is.
The original Nintendo is “old school.”
People I grew up with are getting married.

I’m sure there are more, but that’s all I can think of now.

On Goalies, Stupidity, and Other Shit

Last weekend, my tenure with Molson finally ended. After three weeks of parading around bars and random city intersections touting the Canadian beer and the returning NHL, I will never have to wear the cumbersome equipment or deal with a woman who was quite possibly the stupidest person ever concieved.

Our manager, the frizzy-haired scatter-brained woman I spoke of in my last entry, was unreliable, flaky, duplicitous, and dumb-like-a-fox. She was a bitch at the worst possible times, and had the worst catch-phrases my ears have ever been subjected to. I took every item I could off of her in an attempt to make it worth my while. In all, I swiped a Molson hockey Jersey, several mugs, tee-shirts, a hat, and the largest free Frappuccino I could order from Starbucks when she was buying. I’d rather stuff a diamond necklace up my urethra than work with her again.

I turned down a job with John Robert Powers talent agency. The ad seemed interesting, so I applied online and got an interview. I had to drive downtown and wear my suit for an interview with a girl who was my age. The job was worthless. They wanted me to drive to a mall an hour away to convince parents that their child could make it as a model/actor. All that for a whopping $8/hr, plus an AWESOME BONUS! For every form I got a parent to fill out AFTER FIFTY, I got an ADDITIONAL DOLLAR. They offered me the job and I promptly declined, breaking their hearts I’m sure.

I got hired at Best Buy as a Cashier/Customer Service employee. It’s good in that I will be making money again, but bad in that I am a college graduate and this is what I am relegated to. I hear that everyone’s going through this, but that doesn’t make it any easier to take. To go from a busy guy who was into all the media stuff at school to nothing takes a lot of getting used to. Eventually I will get back into my chosen field, but in the meantime it’s frustrating.

So in the mean time, I’m going to keep looking and hope something comes up.